Monday, 15 January 2018

:(

When this crowded room seems to be empty
I used to wait you to wake up in the morning
Calling your phone for thousands time
Ok tipu je heeeeeeee.

I might feel like being crushed
If I were at your place right now
I've been thinking about it
Since the day I left

I wish we can have other option
Better than this
I wonder if my magic works on you
So we can be better than this

Its hurt to see you hurting
At our place, alone


The whole thing is just so heartbreaking.

I am so sorry to watch this happens in front of my eyes.

It must been a tough night for you, alone.




Thank you

Salam and good everning.

I'm homieee. Its a long and boring drive, alone. Alah acahnya hahaha. Its a sad drive after all :)

I thought dapat balik sama-sama dengan Alex, main potong-potong kereta. && he will reserve the right lane for me. That so damn funny and its crazy. Selalu kena buli je on the highway, its good to have a guardian behind.

At this moment, Alex still kat UTM. I wonder if he ever felt lonely lol haha. If its me, I will be extremely sad and go to bed early. Its normal i think untuk rasa macamtu, beberapa hari sebelum balik Rawang, we went out everyyyydayyyyyyyyyyy. Something that we hardly do before.

I am so happy, no doubt. At last, we can go out without fikir too much pasal kerja, no time restriction hahaha.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you sayang for all the memories that you gave.

I'll cherished them all for my entire life.


Tuesday, 9 January 2018

We gonna be fine

I don't where to start because I am here writing the ending, the ending chapter. But I guess I need to manipulate my mind lol, maybe this is a start of something new. Well, that sounds much better.

Today is really something for me, my atuk are no longer here with us and I believe he is now at a better place where there is no pain anymore. We had such a great memories together since I am the eldest cucu and I stayed as the only cucu for quite a long time. I was a princess back then hahaha. Setiap kali balik kampung, when he was well and doing good his common question was; berapa A, dapat nombor berapa dalam kelas, dah khatam Quran ke belum/ I suppose to khatam every year. Lol masa sekolah dulu mengaji satu muka je sehari, ish ish :'). Then he alwayssssssssssss want me to sambung in sekolah menengah agama. What did I say? "Atuk, kaklong kat sekolah agama tu kelas last sekali kot, mana boleh pergi sekolah men agama". Hahah mira miraaa. But its true tho, bahasa Arab tu kalau tak fail memang tak sah huhu.

He was a bit garang sometimes but reti je make jokes haha. He pampered me a lot lah actually haha, selalu bagi jajan free. Kat rumah opah tu, atuk jual aiskrim pop, ada apollo, ada candies. My mom always pesan jangan ambik sesuka hati hahaha but I always get free because I'm a big fan of apollo warna kuning yang ada bintik-bintik tu haha. He's been sick/not really well for few years, he was very strong untuk bertahan. I'm glad that he now can rest properly. You will always be in my doa. Always.

I tried to hold things in, looking fine all the times but deep inside there is 'ralat-feeling' in my heart. I couldn't be there, I did not have the chance utk berbakti pada masa-masa terakhir dia. Two days ago, I just talked to ibu thru whatsapp and I was hoping utk sempat jaga atuk since my plan was to straight balik kampung next week and help maksu. Little did I know, things happen to soon and em yelah rasa macam ei geram pun ada haha why la paper habis lambat. So in the end, I salahkan paper final instead of myself ah yelah mira.

And todaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Aiman left hahaha. Like penambah perisa yes haha. And soon, very soon Alex pulak :') toldya I'm a crybaby. Its gonna be so hard for them (the one who leaving) and the one yang kena tinggal haha. It reminds me during my matriks time, I was sooooooooo rapat with my roommates, we did everything together and 2 of them left KMJ for good. I was crying ssssssssssooooo freaking bad with Hajar hahhaha. Bengkak-bengkak mata. I don't remember how we managed to lalui semua tu hmmm. I need that kind of strength for one more time.

Now I understand, this kind of things..... One you understand the mechanism, you accept that changes will always happen in your life, its either you want it or not, its maybe something that is too mendadak and happen unexpectedly, you are actually allowing yourself to grow up. Always, its the pain that comes together with growing up.

I hope that I'm prepared.

xoxo. Ok nak sambung study, trying to get the mood :o